Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
