Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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