Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
