I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I touched a dick in church today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
