whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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