I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
