I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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