Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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