you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
from now on my penis is your penis
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
