Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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