come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
