it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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