He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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