I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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