I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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