You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
