11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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