I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
