put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
