i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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