Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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