you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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