Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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