My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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