this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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