He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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