my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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