I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
