im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
