Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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