idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
