Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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