I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We are all done wearing pants today
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
