im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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