I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
