The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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