yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
