i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I cut my penus on the lid.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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