so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
