I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
