im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize