Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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