so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize