TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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