In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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