dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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