But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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