fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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