I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize