my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize