idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
