i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
