Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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