He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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