its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
