ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
