what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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