i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
